Several months ago, Sissy started begging for a hamster. It seems a friend had brought HER hamster “Peanut” to school for show and tell. And just like that, Sissy knew what her calling in life was: to be a hamster owner. Nothing else would do. So she shared her dream with us.
We said no.
There was wailing and gnashing of teeth.
Hamster fever waxed and waned for some time, with our parental defenses putting down the rebellion at every turn. Then my husband had to go and get clever…
He explained to Sissy that the reason she couldn’t have a hamster is that she had never proven herself responsible enough to care for a pet every day.
“I am, too, responsible!” she insisted.
“Then why don’t you take care of the pet you already have??” he countered.
Poor Dixie. She never asked to be thrust into the middle of this struggle…
So Daddy made a deal with Sissy. If she would feed Dixie EVERY SINGLE DAY for 30 DAYS, she would have proven herself responsible enough for hamster ownership. He winked at me while he negotiated this deal. He negotiates for a living, you know. And she’s seven. No way this could blow up in our faces. We are as likely to see monkeys fly as she is to remember to perform this task for 30 consecutive days. Poor little seven year old…it’s not even fair, really.
We should have known we were in trouble when we saw the chart in the pantry over Dixie’s bowl.
Long story short? We are now the proud owners of a Chinese dwarf hamster named Mario.
He has a little cage filled with pine shavings and tricked out with a fancy exercise wheel and hammock, and a little girl who insists on squeezing his guts out every second that she’s home. He was glad to see Spring Break come to an end today. I mean the poor guy went from spending his days in total anonymity in a cage at Petsmart, to a smothering level of affection from a giant snaggle-toothed humanoid. There’s no doubt he could use a valium.
The moral of this story? If you’re negotiating with Sissy…bring your A game. Or get out your wallet and prepare to welcome a rodent into your home.
6 comments
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March 23, 2010 at 12:30 pm
Lori Jordan
She is smart like her mama and daddy. Never forget that. We also were duped into hamster ownership many years ago. What we didn’t know was our little hamster came into our home “knocked up”. I still have nightmares.
March 23, 2010 at 1:35 pm
Dana
There could be nothing worse than a trampy hamster, Lori…nothing…
March 23, 2010 at 9:38 pm
internet elias
Nothing makes a parent feel more foolish than to be outdone by the wisdom of a seven-year-old.
March 27, 2010 at 2:45 pm
Lindsey
Jeremy and I rolling right now after reading this! Virginia talked about Mario at GAs the other night. 🙂
March 28, 2010 at 4:16 pm
Doyle Duke
Dana,
I don’t know if you’ll remember me, I haven’t seen you since you were a little girl. I’m Doyle Duke some type of distance cousin–do they have great-cousins? I don’t know.
I read your blogs and think you have a great tallent, but why should I be surprised–you come from a great pair of genes.
Love ye,
Doyle
March 28, 2010 at 10:55 pm
Dana
Thanks, Doyle! I love great-cousins, and fourth-cousins once removed, and cousins of every stripe! 🙂 I feel blessed to have so many wonderful folks that I can call family. Thank you for reading, and for the encouraging words. I hope our paths will cross again soon. Much love, Dana